“Dance with the one what brung ya”

Post originally published on the Original Bunker Punks website because they rock and I am one.  A punk.  An old punk, but a punk. 

Growing up in the South you hear a lot of quaint sayings. One I have heard many times is, “Dance with the one what brung ya.” Proper English, no, but the meaning was well-defined. I am sure that originally it meant exactly what it states. You should dance with the one that brought you to the dance. But it has evolved to mean stay the course with the talent, process or system that got you here.”  (Definition taken from the Southern Writer’s Magazine)

There are numerous definitions and variations of this phrase but essentially they are all very similar.  I was married and almost 38 years old when I first heard this expression.  I didn’t know what it meant.  I had never heard it.  I had no idea that this simple phrase would define how I felt over the next several years.  

The first time I heard it, it was in jest.  A friend said it in regard to waiting outside the bathroom, which by the way should be some sort of law.  I’m always getting left or leaving someone in the bathroom.  I digress.  This silly hillbilly phrase intrigued me.  I needed to know more and I needed to use it.  I wasn’t sure how but I was damn sure going to work it into conversation as much as possible.  You can never overuse old southern sayings, can you?  You can, but I didn’t care.  I was using that shit.

It wasn’t until almost 2 years later when I was single that this silly little saying made a real impact.  I was always a flirty hooker even when I was married and I was married almost my whole life.  Things didn’t change much when I was single.  Flirty hookers are popular in the single community.

It’s my personality

It’s how I am.

I married; I’m not going to cheat

I’m single; I should be flirty

In the beginning stages of my dating frenzy, I was usually on the receiving end of this phrase.  I didn’t know how to date.  I didn’t know how to meet people.  I was married for 17 years.  I was under the assumption that I could just play my usual role of flirty hooker which in reality was, douchey asshole.  It was not attractive.  I never really had a date say anything about it but I noticed it.  I noticed that I was getting that reputation.  Not that I gave a flying unicorn shit what other people thought of me but I cared what I thought of me.  

I took a dating break and have recently returned to the scene with my new outlook and I’m trying hard not be that douchey asshole who needs to be told to “dance with the one what brung ya”.  It hit me hard this time around.  I figured out what this phrase meant to me.  I am really paying attention and now it’s me giving the speech.  My new and exciting take on the world of dating has made me realize just how important that old hillbilly saying is. How serious.  How important.  To me.  

Respect

For yourself

For others

It isn’t a difficult concept.  Whether you’re on a first date, out with a friend for the evening, 3 months into dating, or married for 15 years, “Dance with the one what brung ya”.  If you cannot respect the person you have chosen to share time with you shouldn’t spend time with them.

That person, regardless of the relationship, should be your one and only focus.  If you are never going to see them again or live the rest of your life with them; the time you spend with them should be spent respect them and making them feel like they are the only other person in the room.

PPB aka The Precious Princess - The Princess is a twice divorced, recently single, self-proclaimed member of the mentally hilarious. She has been referred to as living under a rock stocked with vodka and anger. Her 12 year old “Mini”, who is carbon copy of the Princess, is often the subject of blogs, and Facebook posts. In addition, she writes about dating, the dumbness of boys, life after 40, and shares stories from Bananaland which is both her past and current residence. She is the owner/sole admin for the Facebook page Precious Princess's Guide to Bananaland where she is famous for her rants and her blunt, honest, and sarcastic look at life. She blogs both extremely funny and all-the-feels posts at Princess Bananaland. She hates people, kids, and karaoke. She uses all the swears and makes up dirty words. Eventually when she’s done being sloth-like, she will write a book.  Until she changes her mind. Be afraid. 

Vacation Tips

So my favorite thing in the whole wide world is vacation.  This year I decided to share some of my learned vacation tips.  I'm cool like that.

18 kickass vacation lessons you need to be aware of:

1. It's best not to drink 4 beers prior to getting a massage.  The ass-clenching that occurs while trying not to subject your massage therapist to your stank beer farts negates the entire experience.
2. Remember to show your kids where all the bars in your hotel are located.  Let's be serious, we all know that's where you're going to be.  Might as well the show the kids up front. Honesty is the best policy.
3. Be prepared to be hit with snarfling laughter every single damn time the phrase "duty-free" is uttered. It doesn't matter how old your kids are.  "Duty-free" is ageless.  You will hear it eleventy-million times.  Be ready.
4. Rule#1: Don't fart in the rental.  Or the room, or on the plane, or anywhere really.  Vacation farts are nastier than at home farts.  So don't.
5. Try and remember not to refer to your kid's new crabhat, (that you paid $15.00 for) ball-tie thingies as "deez nuts" in the presence of other parents.  You will get the stink-eye.  Judgy bastards.
6. Make sure to point out the nutsacks on the wildlife to your children.   Do this because it's funny as hell.  Blame it on learning.  It's biology ya' know. Take lots of pictures.
7. Pay close attention to your body's poop signals while traveling in a foreign country.  Your pipes are used to preservatives and a daily dose of McDonald's.  Fresh fruits and meats will fuck up your pooper, hugetime.
8. Leave the men at home.  Cuz - DUH.  Love him on the daily but leave his ass at home to work when looking for true relaxation.
9. Teach all or 1 of your kids to order room service.  Designate that kid or all kids, as "CEO of In-Room Food", "Queens of the Food Court", or President of Room Service".   They'll dig it and you'll never be hungry.  It really is a win-win.
10. When flying, give your kid the window seat right from the get-go.  It seems like a shitty deal but it will save you from the entire side of your body becoming completely numb after said kid falls asleep using you as their in-flight pillow.
11. Pack every snack your kid (s) like.  Their very favorites.  Pack them all.  Bribery is totally worth a peaceful vacation.  "If you can drag your grandma's luggage to the next gate you'll get chocolate".   The magic snack trick is in your best interest. Promise.
12. Do not feel guilty about using the pool as a shower for your kids when on vacation.  It's water and it has chemicals.  You're on vacation for chrissakes.  Enjoy that shit.  No guilt.  Showered kids = dirty bathrooms.  
13. If you're on a vacation that involves going through U.S. Customs, you cannot claim your offspring as items purchased that are over the spending limit.  They can't be deemed vegetables, fruits, plants, or dairy either.   Your kid nor the customs agent think that shit is funny.  Humorless fucks. 
14. When your tween daughter is the person who notices and announces to the crowd that the resort's entertainment dude has a boner, just go with it.  Knocking over the table trying to jam your ass under the table is overly obvious and disruptive so just smile, wave, and laugh like the proud parent you are.  
15. If you're feeling lonely as you watch the couples hump each other in the pool, remember this: they'll soon be headed to their hotel room filled with wet socks (he left everywhere), bathing suits half-hung over the shower bar, flooding the bathroom floor (thanks, lady), and a trash filled with tampon wrappers and empty tequila bottles to begin their argument about where to have breakfast. 
16. Set up the "tv rules" with the others in your party immediately.  You may think this is a ridiculous rule but when to wake up to your bunkmate watching repeats of Maverick at 3 a.m., shit can get weird.  Or you could end up watching really crappy tv.  Both are bad.
17. Regardless of how nervous or unsure you are, try everything you have time for.  Skip a tourist place and hit alocal bar, shop in a place with no floors, listen to the natives, stop at a roadside produce stand and - eat all the food.  I'm really serious about the food.  Try as many local flavors as you can fit in your face and still swallow.  (Keeping #7 in mind, of course)
18. The hotel pool is not your personal piss place.    Kids are bathing in there.  Show a little respect and skip your happy ass to the building with the toilets, otherwise known as the bathroom.  If you think someone is pissing in the pool be sure to point and shout "Pool Pisser!" really loud. It's a good time.  

PPB aka The Precious Princess - The Princess is a twice divorced, recently single, self-proclaimed member of the mentally hilarious. She has been referred to as living under a rock stocked with vodka and anger. Her 12 year old “Mini”, who is carbon copy of the Princess, is often the subject of blogs, and Facebook posts. In addition, she writes about dating, the dumbness of boys, life after 40, and shares stories from Bananaland which is both her past and current residence. She is the owner/sole admin for the Facebook page Precious Princess's Guide to Bananaland where she is famous for her rants and her blunt, honest, and sarcastic look at life. She blogs both extremely funny and all-the-feels posts at Princess Bananaland. She hates people, kids, and karaoke. She uses all the swears and makes up dirty words. Eventually when she’s done being sloth-like, she will write a book.  Until she changes her mind. Be afraid.