Fatshittyattitude turned Comfortandconfidence

It has come to my attention that there are people out there who don't know they're awesome.  And, of course I had to say some shit about it...

I am awesome.  I know this.  It took me 40 (well, actually 39) long years to figure it out.  But?  I did. 

(some) Reasons I am awesome (let's be real, I couldn't take the entire blog):

My sense of humor is fantabulous (shut up, I know it's not a word - you'll have to get used to it)
I make up words
I'm cute as hell
I know my shortcomings (this is huge and the main reason I have no pets)
My kid is pretty damn funny (and alive - that so counts)
I hate people
My shower of love is hugemongous (if you're deserving)
I know stuff but I'm not a "knowitall"
I say fuck a lot
I can cook like a motherfucker
I have ADD but every day is a new day, right?
I can't walk around the house in barefeet (ewwwww)
I'm totally OCD (which makes my shit way overorganized)
I'm crafty as hell and make or recreate almost anything
I love to clean (really, it goes with OCD)
I forgive and (NEVER) forget

So, like I said before - I am awesome.  Awesome is all relative, no?  I am also this - overweight, fat, chubby...whatever you want to call it.  I'm that.  For some reason, people (mostly women, but the boys are not innocent) seem to think they are less of a person because of this.  I'm here to tell you ...

                                                              I CALL BULLSHIT.

In my now almost 43 years (damn I'm old), I have been both on thin side and the fat side.  (I would insert a pic here, but my hard-drive crashed last week and alas, I have no pic).  YES, there are the definite health bennies of being all thin and working out (no, I didn't lose weight to look good, I actually went for the health thing - working out, etc...).  That goes without saying.  That is common sense.  What I'm talking about here?  Is what gets all fucked up in your brain because you aren't a size insert whatever you desire here. 

I'm not gonna go all looneytunes and act like I know shit, cause well, I can't get in your head.  I will, however, tell you MY shit. 

After the whole being cheated on, getting dumped, being treated like shit (by friends, family, men, coworkers) and the myriad of shit that happens to EVERYBODY (not just fat people)...I learned that I am awesome.  None of those things were happening to me because I was overweight.  DUH.  They were happening because I was letting them happen.  I was weak.  I felt inferior.  And...THAT was bullshit.  After losing weight for the gazillionth time (I was around 37), I realized nothing changed.  At this point?  I was old enough to realize, hmmmmm....it's not the weight.  Maybe it was never the weight?  WOW.  Whatafuckingdiscovery! 

In all seriousness, this did happen.  I was enlightened.  I realized that I was awesome.  And, worth it.  And, did not deserve anything less than I what I wanted/needed/deserved.  It was amazing.  I invite each of you who suffers from fatshittyattitude to join me. Do some soul searching.  Learn what makes you awesome and embrace it.  No, I'm not gonna have a come to Jeezus meeting or anything so you don't have to run away screaming. 

What I got? Comfort.  I am comfortable with myself.  Sure, I look back at pics and say "that was a hot bitch".  Know what?  I'm still hot.  I'm confident.  Confidence exudes hotness (you have no idea). I am positive I would NOT have found the love of my life (the good ole SAB) if I wasn't comfy with myself.  I am the self proclaimed "Happiest Bitch Alive".  I can strut into a room and know (in my head) I AM THE MOST AWESOME PERSON HERE.  That, my friends?  Is what counts. 

ps - once you learn all that above stuff?  sex is like the best it has ever been...just sayin ;)