“Dance with the one what brung ya”

Post originally published on the Original Bunker Punks website because they rock and I am one.  A punk.  An old punk, but a punk. 

Growing up in the South you hear a lot of quaint sayings. One I have heard many times is, “Dance with the one what brung ya.” Proper English, no, but the meaning was well-defined. I am sure that originally it meant exactly what it states. You should dance with the one that brought you to the dance. But it has evolved to mean stay the course with the talent, process or system that got you here.”  (Definition taken from the Southern Writer’s Magazine)

There are numerous definitions and variations of this phrase but essentially they are all very similar.  I was married and almost 38 years old when I first heard this expression.  I didn’t know what it meant.  I had never heard it.  I had no idea that this simple phrase would define how I felt over the next several years.  

The first time I heard it, it was in jest.  A friend said it in regard to waiting outside the bathroom, which by the way should be some sort of law.  I’m always getting left or leaving someone in the bathroom.  I digress.  This silly hillbilly phrase intrigued me.  I needed to know more and I needed to use it.  I wasn’t sure how but I was damn sure going to work it into conversation as much as possible.  You can never overuse old southern sayings, can you?  You can, but I didn’t care.  I was using that shit.

It wasn’t until almost 2 years later when I was single that this silly little saying made a real impact.  I was always a flirty hooker even when I was married and I was married almost my whole life.  Things didn’t change much when I was single.  Flirty hookers are popular in the single community.

It’s my personality

It’s how I am.

I married; I’m not going to cheat

I’m single; I should be flirty

In the beginning stages of my dating frenzy, I was usually on the receiving end of this phrase.  I didn’t know how to date.  I didn’t know how to meet people.  I was married for 17 years.  I was under the assumption that I could just play my usual role of flirty hooker which in reality was, douchey asshole.  It was not attractive.  I never really had a date say anything about it but I noticed it.  I noticed that I was getting that reputation.  Not that I gave a flying unicorn shit what other people thought of me but I cared what I thought of me.  

I took a dating break and have recently returned to the scene with my new outlook and I’m trying hard not be that douchey asshole who needs to be told to “dance with the one what brung ya”.  It hit me hard this time around.  I figured out what this phrase meant to me.  I am really paying attention and now it’s me giving the speech.  My new and exciting take on the world of dating has made me realize just how important that old hillbilly saying is. How serious.  How important.  To me.  

Respect

For yourself

For others

It isn’t a difficult concept.  Whether you’re on a first date, out with a friend for the evening, 3 months into dating, or married for 15 years, “Dance with the one what brung ya”.  If you cannot respect the person you have chosen to share time with you shouldn’t spend time with them.

That person, regardless of the relationship, should be your one and only focus.  If you are never going to see them again or live the rest of your life with them; the time you spend with them should be spent respect them and making them feel like they are the only other person in the room.

PPB aka The Precious Princess - The Princess is a twice divorced, recently single, self-proclaimed member of the mentally hilarious. She has been referred to as living under a rock stocked with vodka and anger. Her 12 year old “Mini”, who is carbon copy of the Princess, is often the subject of blogs, and Facebook posts. In addition, she writes about dating, the dumbness of boys, life after 40, and shares stories from Bananaland which is both her past and current residence. She is the owner/sole admin for the Facebook page Precious Princess's Guide to Bananaland where she is famous for her rants and her blunt, honest, and sarcastic look at life. She blogs both extremely funny and all-the-feels posts at Princess Bananaland. She hates people, kids, and karaoke. She uses all the swears and makes up dirty words. Eventually when she’s done being sloth-like, she will write a book.  Until she changes her mind. Be afraid.