Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Two days with Opey

You probably don't know this, but Oprah & myself?  We're tight.  Really.  If you don't already know, I'm from Westhaven aka Tinley Park aka Orland Park aka Orland Hills.  I'm from all of those.  It's really the same place.  It's about 30 miles from Downtown Chicago.  Like, Water Tower Place, the El, The Sears Tower (I don't know what it's called now), the Merchandise Mart, Lakeshore Drive, Lake Michigan, Navy Pier, the John Hancock building, Hyde Park, Lincoln Zoo, the Field History Museum, the Museum of Science & Industry and for many, many years...THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW.  That Downtown Chicago.  Got it?  K.  I'll be honest, I didn't partake in the Oprah phenomenon for the last 15 years or so but back then?  In Chicago?  Oprah was...THE SHIT. That, my friends, is no damn lie.

I moved to Florida on my 16th birthday, June 9, 1986.  Awesome gift, no?  No.  (whole other blog post).  Anyhow, December of 1987 I flew home to visit my most bestest friend, my family & other friends.  I got to do a whole buncha cool stuff.  We visited this kickass place, Ed Debevic's, which was a way cool eatery.  Still is, I'm sure.  EDDEBEVICS.COM is the website.  Check it out.  It was goodtimes.  I got to go to my old High School for a whole day as a visitor.  This meant I got to hang with my friends and get them in trouble & stuff (cause they were supposed to be doing ummm...schoolwork) and I got to do nothing.  AWESOME. We rode the train downtown to shop.  Or rather, look & drool. Gucci, Louis Vutton, Prada, - THOSE STORES. My friend's mom even bought us all tickets to the Nutracker Suite.  Fancy Schmancy for three teens.  We spent the whole time in the lobby trying to pick up dudes.  We were 17, what?  Also - We had tickets to The Oprah Winfrey Show.



Window shopping... remember this pic.  It will be handy.


When she looked like this and her logo was this thingy - remember that shit?  Do ya? 



Anyhow, off to see Opey!  Despite my love for her?  She still had to be given a horrible nickname, cause' I'm me and that's what I do.  We took the train from the burbs & then walked our asses over the studio.  It was all crazy crowded & shit.  Even then, it was a madhouse.  So, we get with the producers (they run all the shit, whatever) and they haul us into a big hallway to...WAIT.  Yay, I love waiting.  Hangin' around with a few hundred strangers all dying to see MY Opey.  Now all during this hangout & wait stuff, we have no idea who will be on the show or what the show is about. This was confidential info and they wouldn't tell us until we were in the studio. Live audience reaction and all that shit...Pfffffttt.  We could have possibly been kinda annoying to the producers over that one.  Worked to our benefit cause they liked it.  Liked us.  We were put in the second row - CENTER.  And, the guests were?  Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert.  The movie critic guys.  (RIP)  Oh boy!  Front row center and the guest is someone we've actually heard of.  Rock on, bitches.



Of course, we had no idea what the hell Siskel & Ebert were yammering on about.  WE WERE 17.  We were busy people watching, staring at Oprah, watching the producers, talking, giggling and acting well...17. We made it through the show with none of party fainting, farting or acting otherwise frightening on the boob-tube.  NO, we didn't get to ask any questions.  YES, you could see our dumbasses when the show aired. *famous* 

Before we got up, one of the producers approached us and asked if we would like to stay for the next tape? Whaaaaaa?  You have to ask?  Hell.  Yes.  They moved us to different seats cause we were too recognizable (I'm totally sure she meant "hot") and we stayed for one of those IhatemyfamilyandIwanttomakeamends shows.  It was awful, but we were on Oprah.  TWICE.  IN ONE DAY.  Well, not really cause that show?  The second one?  Never aired.  What. Ever.  It's still twice <insert huge sticky outy tongue here>, so there. 

So, we are gettin' ready to hit the pavement and the producer, the one who asked us to stay?  Calls us over. I'm trying to quickly replay the events of the day in my head because I'm positive at this point that we are going to be arrested.  Hey?  Stuff happens.  Anyway, she tells us that the following day the guest is this guy...



Holyfuckingshitballsonfire.  Did I mention we were 17?  And Tom Cruise was still all cool & hot and NOT crazy. She then tells us that she thinks we (us, like me & my friends) are cool & SHE GAVE US TICKETS.  Are you listening?  Tickets to see TOM CRUISE. OMG. This was 1987.  Just 4 short years after Risky Business.  This was serious stuff. And?  We were gonna be on Oprah...AGAIN. 

Fast-forward to the next day...We arrive all sassy with our hair jacked up high.  Remember the picture from above?  Higher.  Yes.  Miss fancy pants producer chick finds us right away and takes us in to sit.  IN THE FRONT ROW.  I shit you not.  While trying not to trip ourselves, we take our seats and wait.  After a few minutes, Miss producer comes over and says we have to move.  MOVE? WTF?  She says it's okay, we are just going to switch you with OPRAH'S FAMILY who are in the 2nd row.  (they wanted to  see Tom Cruise too)  Know why we had to move?  Our hair.  IT WAS TOO BIG.  I wouldn't lie. (about this)  Our effing hair was too big for the front row.  Is that not the most awesomest thing you've ever heard? You know it is.  That was the shit.  We had the biggest hair, EVER.  For those of you who don't understand the 1980's big hair?  Get the hell off my blog, cause you are way too young to get me.   

Know what was even better?  Opey took us all (the entire audience) to the movies.  To see the premiere of fucking RAIN MAIN. (in a private theater)

The movie was fantabulous but you all know this.  After the movie, we went back to the studio for the interview portion of this day.  From our 2nd row seats we saw everything we needed to see.  Totally amazing.  We even got to stand in line and shake ole Tommy's hand after the show.  (Opey shook our hands after every show and by the 3rd time, she even remembered me - gaaaaaaaa)  NO, we still didn't get to ask a question and YES, you could see our big-haired selves all over the tv.  (the Drunken Queen probably still has the video) *famous again* 

So, now you all know how Opey & I are like peas and carrots.  Or just peas.  Whatever.  You do know that I was just meant to famous, right?  Meant. To. Be.  Don't deny it.  You know...

13 comments:

It's why you like me said...

So basically you helped kill the universe with an abundance of Aqua Net? That's what I get from all this. Oh and you are green, like a pea

xxxxxxooooo

Dutchess said...

LMAO...I'm from a little town just north of Chicago, and in 1980, my Mom moved me to Texas the summer before my Freshmen year...also not awesome. BUT, by 1981 I was proudly sportin' B.I.G. Texas size hair. I didn't go see Oprah until years later. I think the guest was Alicia Keys. Holy hell, we just may be long lost cousins.

The Queen said...

LOL I love reading your shit.. and the fact that you call your Mom the Drunken Queen.. just makes tears roll down my leg I'm laughing so hard..

Penny Roach said...

That is fan-freakin-tastic!!! I'm from the area too and NEVER got to see Oprah. I feel famous just for knowing you. My friends and I took the train downtown to see the Nutcracker and almost got kicked out because this really cool ballerina dude was on stage and I *cough* accidentally yelled "Are You Willie Gault?" Speedy Willie was a wide receiver for the Bears at the time and I had just seen on the news that he was taking ballet classes to stay fit. That, and I was a little tipsy. Good times!! And no...that wasn't Willie after all.

Penny at Mom Rants and Comfy Pants

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Baaaaa! THAT is awesome. I used to love me some Chicago Bears. I met Jim Mcmahon once, too. Be jealous. LMAO

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Better clean that shit up, Queen :)

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

I'm sure you are. My BirthFather did have a daughter and I have no idea where she is...

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

RAVE, sister. The cool kids use RAVE

Joy Christi said...

Sweeet! My sister was on Oprah. Yeah we're from Bridgeport (South Siiiiiide) This reminds me of a story I should probably blog about.....w celebs and booze and bars on Rush Street oh my.

Joy Christi said...

I got interrupted in the middle of my last comment, I also meant to say " I wouldn't lie. (about this)" is AWESOME(LY honest). Nice. That is hilarious you had to move b/c of your hair. I was an Aqua Net girl, I get it.
This is quite a 15 minutes (or TWO DAYS) of fame!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

LMAO...you should fer sure blog some Rush St. Awesomeness.

Amanda said...

Wow, now I'm gonna feel all nervous around you cause you're all famous and shit, snort. Seriously though, that's totally awesome. I myself, have never been so close to stardom. I am however, a big deal in my own little world.

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

That's all that matters...