Christmas Letter 2014

To all my friends and family at Christmas...

A lot has changed in a year.  Like...a lot.

Let me see...where to start...

Filed Bankruptcy, moved in with mom, got rid of 241lbs of dead weight, have no real source of income, have a snotty ass kid, a broken ass mommy, and I'm happier than I've ever been.  Let me explain...

My Bankruptcy was final in February of this year.  It was a huge relief.  I was in so much debt from divorce, and working 2 jobs had done nothing for me.  So BK it was.  I still have no credit cards...I'm scared.  It's not a bad thing.

Moved in with mom at the end of May.  (This was planned for over a year so don't freak out, mmmkay?)  So far; so good.  She's annoying as fuck but aren't all moms?  Since she broke the shit out of her ankle and is immobile for 3 months, she's less annoying...haha, but no, REALLY.  She's healing well and drives her wheelchair like a bat out of hell.  It's awesome.  I can always tell where she is when we hit the stores.  I just have to listen for the "hey lady!".  She's always either in someones way, crashing into a display, going too fast, going too slow...something.

The lying scumbag that I wasted 3.5 years of my life with (I won't even bother to mention his name; it's not worth it) decided that we should no longer be a couple.  This turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  It's amazing how your eyes are opened once someone isn't covering them.  And, that's all I'll say about that.  For now.  (You know there's another blog post in there, right?)

In August, I quit my job after 14 years.  That place sucked giant horse cock.  It really did.  Maybe it was mid-life crisis, maybe I was just a mess...who knows?  I cannot describe the feeling of not going back to that negative hell hole of a place filled with life-sucking, backstabbing, liars.  Phew...that was a huge relief.  I am currently unemployed as I had a job for a couple of months and it was becoming very similar to the horse cock sucking job so I'm no longer there.  Due to some investments that I was able to cash in, unemployment  (thank you, government) and mommy, I am able to live for a few months while searching for a job that doesn't suck.  <---- I'm hoping that job exists. Tell me that it does.  Please.

Thanks to numerous friends and my fantastic (although foul-mouthed and cranky) daughter, this year of change has been absolutely amazing!  Took a few short trips: Cedar Key, Crystal River, Orlando (Link to Orlando trip post), St Augustine, and I have a trip to Savannah planned toward the end of the month.  I was also able to spend some great quality time with the Mini, the Broken Mommy, and my friends.  It has been excellent.  I am thankful beyond belief.

The Mini started middle school (Jr high) this year and it scared the shit out of me.  In that bad awful way that I wanted to be her life sized backpack.  Besides the increasingly shitty attitude which I'm told will go away around the age of 25...all is well.  She's actually doing better than she did in elementary school.  I'm still freaked out most of the time but I'll tell you that after much motherly snooping I know this:  the kid knows how to spell "fuck" and that my friends, is important.

As usual I'm excited for Christmas because...I LOVE IT!  Looking forward to a visit from my baby sister too.  It will be a FourVag Christmas in Bananaland.  Keep one eye on your news.  Ya' know, just in case.

Smoochydoodles to you and yours.  Have a kickass Christmas and here's to Santa not pissing in your Wheaties.

PPB