Monday, April 8, 2013

Fatshittyattitude turned Comfortandconfidence

It has come to my attention that there are people out there who don't know they're awesome.  And, of course I had to say some shit about it...

I am awesome.  I know this.  It took me 40 (well, actually 39) long years to figure it out.  But?  I did. 

(some) Reasons I am awesome (let's be real, I couldn't take the entire blog):

My sense of humor is fantabulous (shut up, I know it's not a word - you'll have to get used to it)
I make up words
I'm cute as hell
I know my shortcomings (this is huge and the main reason I have no pets)
My kid is pretty damn funny (and alive - that so counts)
I hate people
My shower of love is hugemongous (if you're deserving)
I know stuff but I'm not a "knowitall"
I say fuck a lot
I can cook like a motherfucker
I have ADD but every day is a new day, right?
I can't walk around the house in barefeet (ewwwww)
I'm totally OCD (which makes my shit way overorganized)
I'm crafty as hell and make or recreate almost anything
I love to clean (really, it goes with OCD)
I forgive and (NEVER) forget

So, like I said before - I am awesome.  Awesome is all relative, no?  I am also this - overweight, fat, chubby...whatever you want to call it.  I'm that.  For some reason, people (mostly women, but the boys are not innocent) seem to think they are less of a person because of this.  I'm here to tell you ...

                                                              I CALL BULLSHIT.

In my now almost 43 years (damn I'm old), I have been both on thin side and the fat side.  (I would insert a pic here, but my hard-drive crashed last week and alas, I have no pic).  YES, there are the definite health bennies of being all thin and working out (no, I didn't lose weight to look good, I actually went for the health thing - working out, etc...).  That goes without saying.  That is common sense.  What I'm talking about here?  Is what gets all fucked up in your brain because you aren't a size insert whatever you desire here. 

I'm not gonna go all looneytunes and act like I know shit, cause well, I can't get in your head.  I will, however, tell you MY shit. 

After the whole being cheated on, getting dumped, being treated like shit (by friends, family, men, coworkers) and the myriad of shit that happens to EVERYBODY (not just fat people)...I learned that I am awesome.  None of those things were happening to me because I was overweight.  DUH.  They were happening because I was letting them happen.  I was weak.  I felt inferior.  And...THAT was bullshit.  After losing weight for the gazillionth time (I was around 37), I realized nothing changed.  At this point?  I was old enough to realize, hmmmmm....it's not the weight.  Maybe it was never the weight?  WOW.  Whatafuckingdiscovery! 

In all seriousness, this did happen.  I was enlightened.  I realized that I was awesome.  And, worth it.  And, did not deserve anything less than I what I wanted/needed/deserved.  It was amazing.  I invite each of you who suffers from fatshittyattitude to join me. Do some soul searching.  Learn what makes you awesome and embrace it.  No, I'm not gonna have a come to Jeezus meeting or anything so you don't have to run away screaming. 

What I got? Comfort.  I am comfortable with myself.  Sure, I look back at pics and say "that was a hot bitch".  Know what?  I'm still hot.  I'm confident.  Confidence exudes hotness (you have no idea). I am positive I would NOT have found the love of my life (the good ole SAB) if I wasn't comfy with myself.  I am the self proclaimed "Happiest Bitch Alive".  I can strut into a room and know (in my head) I AM THE MOST AWESOME PERSON HERE.  That, my friends?  Is what counts. 

ps - once you learn all that above stuff?  sex is like the best it has ever been...just sayin ;)

 


26 comments:

Shannon said...

LOVE this post!! Amen sister!! To all of it. I feel like it took me forever to learn all that. After Oli was born I had a major fattyshittyattitude for a long time. Finally some stuff happened and I was like "Fuck this! I'm tired of feeling shitty!" So I stopped and started feeling awesome. So now I'm there. Anyway. . .you are awesome and funny, so yeah. You just have to start believing in yourself right?!! It IS all that counts.
--Mommy Has Issues

Dre said...

Amen sista!!! Truly how much do you love that exact moment when you say "You are lucky to know me. I am that awesome. I know it and you know it." Because really it is what matters.

PS...sex is way sexytime once you hit 38, get comfy in your own skin and your mister tells you he's known all along what a sexy bitch you really are!!!

Love from It's why you like me

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

AWE, thanks fellow bloggers. I'm feeling the love. You guys are awesome. And, I'm not just saying that. You really are. We all are. Yaythefuckus for not being shitty. ;)

PinkFuzzySlippersandMyHubbysPants said...

Love this and love you!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, shucks. ;). Love you!!

L. Reeves said...

You are such an inspiration!!!!!! I just love you!!!!!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Thanks cuz. Love you too ;)

Amanda said...

Yeah, I'm still working on all that crap...

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

;).

Tara said...

Well said girlfriend!! Well said! I struggled with my weight most of my life having had six kids, now I'm 44 and a skinny bitch. Now people tell me I'm to thin!!! I say Fuck You! I am what I am and that's the way I like it!!! Cheers!
(There's Lipstick In My Doritos)
Tara

Molley Mills said...

What an inspiring post! As I wolf down a bowl of froot loops :) it's very important to be happy in our own skin. Thanks for hooking up to the HUmp Day Hook Up

Jessica, Science of Parenthood said...

Hell yeah you are fabulous!!! -- Norine of Science of Parenthood

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Awe, thanks. *smiles sheepishly*

Lisa Rochlin said...

Awesome outlook! Since you've got some shit to be proud of, can I ask, what's your favorite comfortandconfident sex move? Mine is: can we get this done in less than 10? If so, you know I'll be back again. But maybe I can add one of yours to my repertoire?

Alyson H. said...

We would get along splendidly:) The making up words alone is an immediate bond!. Thanks for hooking up today!! (The Shitastrophy)

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

LOL! Making up words is fun!

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!

Molley Mills said...

This has totally brightened my evening! Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up