Monday, October 28, 2013

Bananaland memories of Halloween...

Halloween is not my favorite holiday.  Not even close.  Like down the list somewhere after Labor Day cause at least ya get a day off work for Labor Day.  It's just a lot of work, quite frankly.  The dressing up, wandering around the neighborhood after dark (dark is scary) and lugging bag after bag of candy home? Wait a sec,  it was pretty fuckin' fun. It always messed with my schedule though.  I had stuff to do.  Still do. Anyway, here's a few of my favorite Halloween memories.  From when I wasn't so jaded and bitchy.  And whatnot.

Halloween on a school day, in Westhaven (my hometown) - Get up way extra early and put on the costume that was designated for school (yes, costume to school) if you were one of the 'twocostumekids' (I was, sometimes).  Go to school.  Be too excited to do any work.  Also, checking out everyone elses costume was a full-time job.  Eat candy all day at school and get more candy while we had a Halloween Party.  Yep, it was called a Halloween Party, not a Fall Festival.  Halloween.  We were in costumes. Witches, ghouls, all the shit.  After school break out a bag you got at the school party and trick-or-treat your ass home.  Hit home, eat some dinner, freshen up your costume or change into a new one and outthefuckindoorwego!  Hit all the houses, and the good houses twice.  What?  A full size candy bar is worth a second trip.  They shoulda known better.  The houses with the cans of soda were popular too cause well we were thirsty as shit.  Go home, let parents rape the shit outta my candy, take it in my room and organize it.  By type, then size, then order in which it would be eaten.  You didn't do that?  I mighta had a lil OCD early on.  MIGHTA.

Halloween party, at the Bananaland Homestead - The Drunken Queen invites like all the effing neighborhood kids (without my prior approval) to a Halloween Party.  At our house.  Costumes, apple bobbing, games, food, prizes.  All the Halloween things.  Great fun.  I don't even remember what I was.  The Drunken Queen was a witch.  Go figure.  I still have pictures from this party.  Just none of me.  That I remember anyway. Hunting down the pictures to check isn't on the agenda so I guess I'll never know.  Until I do.  Look for them, that is.  Lots of adults.  I'm guessing they all got drunk after the majority of the kids went home.  Fuckers.  I had to put my mouth on the same apple that some other kid had their mouth on.  That's fucked up.  I needed the drink.  Really.

Costumes in Bananaland -  The costumes I wore as a kid were always homemade.  Always.  There was always RIT dye, sewing, beads, baubles & all kindsa shit.  So yeah, that was all cool and I was a princess one year and I was very lovely.  The Drunken Queen wanted to me to be a witch and I must have been very young cause I asked what a witch was.  The explanation I received gave me nightmares.  Princess it was. Honestly, I can't even remember any of my subsequent Halloween costumes.  Isn't that sad?  I'm sure there are pictures but again, I'm lazy.  I'm not spending an afternoon looking for pictures so I can remember shit that wasn't important enough to remember in the first place.  Uh.  No.  Wait, my last Halloween as a kid, I was a... shit, I lost it.  I honestly don't remember.  As an adult I've been a cop (ha, but really), a clown (I wasn't scary), a prisoner (not of war, with the like the old-school black&white stripes), Viagra Man (yes, I was an old man with a boner AND a cape, don'tyoujudgeme) and a Sweepstakes Winner.  I think my imagination got better as I got older.  Or something.  Also, even though I know the homemade costumes were the coolest, I always wanted a store bought costume!  Dumbass right here.  Complete dumbass.

Most every Halloween in Chicagoland - A coat would be worn over the costume.  Sad but true.  Kudos went to the kids who could work their coats into their costumes.  They were smart.  Me?   Not so much. We've already learned of my lack of enthusiasm and imagination concerning costumes.  This made it even easier.  Who cares what costume I was cause I would be wearing a coat over it anyway.  So, ha! just came to me.  I think I was a dancer once.  Not a stripper, assholes, a Chorus Line type dancer. I think so.  Or maybe it was a stripper.  I just remember running ('running'- a long tear in pantyhose for those of you too young to remember) my black tights over & over and having to run home to change like 4 times.  Who the hell knows?  I remembered something.  That counts.  Sometimes a hat, scarf & gloves were necessary.  Snow was not uncommon on Halloween. Looking back, I had a lot of opportunity to dress up as something really cool.  I really was a shithead kid.

This year - The Mini has now decided that she is too old to partake in the activities on Halloween so I guess we are going to a 'family' get together to transition.  Yes, for me.  Too old for Halloween.  I'm fucking old. Thank you, Mini.

Also, she says that's a lot walking just for candy.  <-------------CrazyAssKid but I get it.  Really I do.


Unknown said...

hahahaha bobbling for apples SUCKS!
Homemade costumes are the best! We HAD to make our own, I was the 4th of 5 kids so every costume was spanked by the time I came around. We could only be a hobo, hobo clown or hobo whatever else you could piece together. I toughed it out when I was younger without a coat.
Now? I got coat costumes for my kids: Found a bumblebee coat and a huge ladybug hoodie for the little ones. Boom. Done. That's all anyone will see anyway! :)

Precious Princess of Banananland said...

I love hobos. It explains a lot. I knew you were a schmarty!